Captain Obvious
by open-notebook
Summary: Take One careless and sarcastic female pirate, mix in an old friend named Jack, add a few stolen jewels and one very angry pirate crew and Indian cult and you've got yourself a pretty good pirates of the caribbean story! rr plz!


 Captain Obvious

Disclaimer: Ah, my favorite part of the story.  I hope you caught that sarcasm.  Anyway, I don't own the stuff you've heard of, sound good to you?  Well it sounds good to me so it has to sound good to you.

Author's Notes: I created my original character and just started writing.  I have no idea where it's going but I have a small idea.  And I'm not too good at writing Jack but if you imagine him saying his "lines" sts (so to speak) it works out okay.  Anyhoo enjoy!

Chapter One {Silver's POV}

[Captain Obvious]

            I sat on the dock of Port Royale, absentmindedly-throwing stones into the water.  I was dressed in a simple, white linen dress, typical for poor girls at the time.  After all, you couldn't just walk into Port Royale in Pirate attire and expect to be treated like anyone else.

            I was about to throw another stone when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

            "Well, well, well, if it isn't Miss Obvious."  The voice behind me was low… slurred… drunken.

            Preoccupied, I pushed his hand off my shoulder and muttered, "I prefer Captain Obvious, thank you."

            "Well excuse me," the voice said, grabbing my shoulder again and spinning me around.

            Standing before me was the infamous Jack Sparrow.  As I was sitting and he was standing he looked relatively tall, although I've never been the lengthy type so I guess a lot of people seemed tall to me.  He had dark hair and kohl-rimmed eyes to match.  He wore a loose shirt and britches covered by a large overcoat.  I couldn't stand him.

            "Jack Sparrow what the hell are ye' doin' 'ere?" I asked spitefully.

            "Lookin' for ye, luv," was his simple yet effective reply.

            "Look, Jack, if this is anything abou-"

            "It's not.  Come with me."

            I nodded reluctantly, and ran back to my ship on the other side of the harbor to get out of that blasted dress.  I reappeared moments later in my classic outfit – a tight, strapless white top and black pants that cut off at my mid-calf.  My feet were bare and my blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail.  I met Jack at the edge of the dock and asked with a sigh, " OK, what's this about?"

            "And ye think I'm going to tell you?"

            "No, yeh're going to lead me to some mysterious place and then tell me what's going on."

            "Thank you, Captain Obvious."  Jack led me through the crowded street towards a blacksmith shop.  He opened the door and looked inside.  It was completely empty, which seemed to satisfy him.  He opened the door wide and ushered me in, muttering, "Ladies first."  I scoffed and walked inside, kicking his shin as I passed.  I heard a soft "ow" as I looked around.  I turned and saw Jack rubbing his shin.  I gave a satisfied smile.

            "Well, Mister Sparrow, what is the nature of this meeting?" I asked, abandoning my pirate dialect to sound prim and proper.

            "I'm in a spot o' trouble, Silver."  He rested his hand on my shoulder.

            I grabbed his wrist and twisted it until I could see pain on his face.

            "Las' time I helped yeh, Jack, I nearly died."  I twisted his wrist harder and leaned in until our noses almost touched.  "I will not be makin' that mistake again."

            I let go and turned to leave.  But right as I got to the door it opened.  Out of instinct, I unsheathed my sword.  It was a very nice sword, a silver hilt, honoring my name, with sapphires and Silver Skye, my name, engraved into it.  The man who had entered looked from me, to my sword, then behind me to Jack.

            He was a few inches taller than me, with dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail.  He ignored me and pushed by me to see Jack.

            "Jack, what in God's name are you doing here?" he said to Jack.

            "Well ye see-" Jack started to say but the other man interrupted him.

            "Never mind, I don't want to know.  Who's your friend?"

            I turned around and said, "I would happen to be Captain Silver Skye, and your friend Mister Sparrow here, is a-"

            "All right Silver, that's enough now." Jack said, waving his hands in an odd sort of fashion.

            I could feel my blue eyes turning icy cold, like they did when I got mad.  I was through with Jack Sparrow, and for all I cared he could sink down to Davy Jones' Locker.  And I hoped he would.

            I pulled out my sword again and walked towards Jack.

            "Jack, if you are quite done now you'd best shut up.  And if you're not quite done you'd best shut up anyway."  A string of insults ran through my mind but I didn't waste my breath on a coward such as Jack Sparrow.

            Jack, being the simpleton that he was, did one of the stupidest things he could've done and he pulled out his sword.  Every pirate in the Caribbean knew I was the best swordsman- or woman- to ever grace the seven seas.  The last time he crossed blades with me he ended up on the ground with a long scar down his arm.

            "Is this a wise decision, Captain Sparrow?" I asked, circling him slowly.  I saw him glance nervously at his left arm where I had cut a lovely design the last time we met with his own sword.

            "I'm not quite sure."  He nodded to the other man and muttered, "Will!  A little help here?"

            Will grabbed a sword from the rack behind him.  It's not like I really cared.

            I took a step toward Jack and he backed up.  I saw fear in his eyes, which was good.  Very good.  I took a weak shot at him, and he blocked it with ease.    I tried Will.  He obviously knew what he was doing- well, the swordsmanship part of it.  The part about crossing blades with me he wasn't so sure about.  Jack tried me from behind but I blocked him without turning around.  If the rest of the fight went like this I could get both Jack and Will without working up a sweat.

            Will took a stab at me and I turned around, a full 360, and returned the favor.  He blocked it, but not until my blade was dangerously close to his face.  I recognized him from somewhere.

            "Your name's William, right?" I asked him as I turned around to face Jack.

            "Yeah," Will said, swinging his sword horizontally, but I ducked to avoid a blow to my head.

            "William Turner, perhaps?" I asked, dancing around Jack to avoid another blow.

            Jack turned and struck high, which I blocked and his face came dangerously close to mine.

            "Yes, it's William Turner, only son of Bootstrap Bill Turner."  His breath smelled strongly of rum, I noted.  "Yeh got a pro'lem with tha'?"

            "Simply wondering," I replied, kicking his shin again.

            Will began to run toward me, swinging his sword.  I turned and ran too, just to add to the effect.  He looked very serious, which amused me, as all this was to me was a joke.

            I turned and blocked Will, swinging his sword up extremely close to is face… again.

            Will pushed my sword away and made another attempt, which I blocked and I swung my foot up, kicking the side of his neck.

            He dropped his sword and put his hands up to his neck.

            "Ow!" he said, looking suspiciously at me.

            "That's what yeh get for screwin' with a lady," I said, sliding his sword closer to me.  I flicked it up with my foot and put it into my sheath.

            "Nice sword, mind if I keep it?" I asked, grinning and turning to leave.  "Ta."

            Will grabbed another sword and threw it toward the door, where it would've stuck and blocked my way out - if I didn't grab it by the blade and stop it on its way.  As I caught it a few drops of blood ran down my hand, but I had yet another sword and a clear way out, until Jack appeared in front of the door.

            "Goddamit I thought I got rid of you."

            "Not so easy, is it love?"

            "Oh Jack, my fun is only just beginning."  Because with two swords in ambidextrous hands I was twice as powerful – this should be fun.

            I spun around and our swords clashed, he struck, high, low, and everywhere in between and I blocked every one.  You could see the frustration on his face, which delighted me.  But the next thing I knew, I had Jack's gun at my head and Will's sword at my neck.  Oops.  I still held two swords in my hands.

            "Well Mister Sparrow, Mister Turner, It would appear that you've won, however unfairly.  But I would like to think otherwise," I said, knocking Jack's pistol out of his hand and ducking to avoid Will's sword.  God, how many did he have in that place anyway?

            Jack's pistol slid across the floor and he dove after it.

            "Jack, why do you always play unfairly?" I said, sounding mockingly distressed.

            "Simple," Will said, as thought it were the most obvious thing in the world (which it probably was).  "He's a pirate."

            "Hey!" I said, jumping over a wooden board on the floor.  "Since when have you taken my job?"

            Will looked extremely confused. As I threw his swords behind me, ducked to avoid Jack, who was coming up behind me, sheathed my own sword, and jumped up to hold onto the rafters.

            "What?" said Will, trying to figure out a way to get up there and reach me.

            "I'm Captain Obvious here."

Well now, that wasn't too painful.  I dunno if it's too short or not, or if it was any good at all, so I guess *sigh* you'll have to tell me in a review.  Oh darn.

lol :-D


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